The text consists of direct descriptions of violent events, interwoven with dreams, fantasies, and desires I had during that time. These writings drift between the boundaries of reality and imagination; they do not simply document memories, but function as tools for reconstructing and rearranging them—offering a way to re-encounter my inner world. The narratives are written from a detached, third-person perspective, allowing for both a clear-eyed recounting of violence and a fragmented, dreamlike distortion of those same moments.
As a child, I immersed myself in imaginary worlds—fantasy novels, comics, and games—as a way to escape the ongoing violence and endure my reality. This wasn’t a form of escapist entertainment, but rather a psychological mechanism for survival. That inner retreat into fantasy has profoundly influenced the structure of Om mani padme hum, which blends reality and imagination as a reflection of both past coping strategies and present creative reconstruction.